How to Repair Relationships After Filing a Court Order to Help a Loved One!
When a loved one is struggling with severe mental health or substance use issues, the emotional toll on concerned friends and family can be overwhelming. Sometimes, concerned loved ones feel as though they are left with no other option but to try and seek relief from the court by petitioning for involuntary care*.* Although this can be a life-saving step, it can also fracture trust and damage relationships, especially when the individual doesn’t believe they need help. Furthermore, taking legal action to help a loved one in crisis also has the potential to create significant conflict with others who may not necessarily be in favor of taking that approach, no matter how dire the situation? As a professional mental health interventionist, I have learned how to address these issues from a strategically caring and comprehensive vantage point. I am confident that this article will help you improve communication and rebuild trust after taking legal action to help a loved one in crisis battling severe symptoms of mental illness and/or substance abuse. Furthermore, without claiming to provide legal services, we will also explore various legal options throughout the country that help support compliance with care through involuntary treatment and legal guardianship of an adult. We are confident that you can successfully and ethically apply the power of the court to help your loved one, without having to destroy your relationship with them, or for that matter, with anyone else, in the process. Call us today for a complimentary consultation: 305-467-8666
Understanding Involuntary Behavioral Health Statutes
Every state has laws designed to intervene when individuals are a danger to themselves or others due to mental illness or substance use. Here are some key examples:
- Baker Act in Florida – provides for involuntary mental health assessment and stabilization.
- Marchman Act in Florida – provides for involuntary substance use disorder assessment, stabilization, and treatment.
- 302 Petition in Pennsylvania – provides for involuntary mental health assessment and stabilization.
- 1013 in Georgia – provides for involuntary mental health assessment and stabilization.
- Section 12 in Massachusetts – provides for involuntary mental health assessment and stabilization.
- Blue Paper in Maine – provides for involuntary mental health assessment and stabilization.
- Mental Health Warrant in Texas – provides for involuntary mental health assessment and stabilization.
- 5150 in California – provides for involuntary mental health assessment and stabilization.
- Assisted Outpatient Treatment (AOT) in New York – mandates outpatient treatment for individuals with severe mental illness and a history of non-compliance.
The statutes that were enacted to create these legal pathways for care were designed to protect individuals from harm during a behavioral health crisis. However, in many cases, being subjected to involuntary care can feel deeply violating to the person receiving it. In addition to considering the impact of taking legal action on relationships with others, you are also strongly encouraged to carefully review all of the legal implications with an attorney that specializes in the subject.
Rebuilding Trust After Taking Legal Action
Filing a petition for involuntary treatment is often a last resort, taken only when all other avenues have failed. Even so, it can lead to feelings of betrayal, anger, and alienation from the very person you’re trying to help.Here are strategies to begin repairing the relationship:
1. Acknowledge Their Experience Without Defending Your Actions Immediately
Let your loved one speak. Acknowledge their feelings, even if they blame you. Avoid jumping to explain or defend yourself too quickly. Trust is only rebuilt when people feel truly heard.“I know what happened was incredibly upsetting for you. I want to understand what you’re feeling and be here for you.”
2. Explain Your Motivation in Compassionate, Personal Terms
Once your loved one is ready to hear it, explain that your decision came from love and concern.“Watching you struggle was unbearable. I was afraid you might hurt yourself or worse. I had to do something, and this was the only option left.”
3. Clarify the Responsibility You Took On
Many people don’t realize the emotional, legal, and logistical responsibility that comes with filing such petitions. Help your loved one understand that this wasn’t a way to control them, but rather, it was an act of courage and commitment.“By filing, I took on responsibility for making sure you were safe. That’s something I didn’t take lightly. It meant I had to be more involved, not less.”
HIPAA and the Challenges of Communication
A common frustration for families is the barrier created by HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) regulations. Once a person is in treatment, providers often can’t disclose information to family members without consent, even if the family initiated the petition.
What You Can Do:
- Request a release: Ask your loved one to sign a HIPAA release so you can be involved in their care.
- Provide collateral information: Even if you can’t receive updates, you can share important context with providers.
- Support while respecting boundaries: Assure your loved one that their privacy matters, even as you remain available.
When Guardianship or Conservatorship Becomes Necessary
In cases where a loved one cannot care for themselves, legal guardianship (or conservatorship) may be the most compassionate option. This often grants a trusted family member legal authority to make decisions on their behalf.
Key Benefits:
- Medical decisions: Ensures your loved one receives necessary treatment, even if they resist.
- Financial management: Prevents exploitation, misuse of funds, or financial ruin.
- Housing and self-care: Enables safe living arrangements and oversight of daily needs.
States with Supportive Guardianship Frameworks:
- California’s Lanterman-Petris-Short (LPS) conservatorship for serious mental illness.
- Florida Guardianship Code for incapacitated adults.
- New York’s Article 81 guardianship for those incapacitated due to mental illness or cognitive decline.
- Texas Probate Code for medical and estate guardianship roles.
While it can feel invasive, guardianship can offer long-term stability, especially when someone has is unable to recognize the severity of their own mental illness.
Why Taking Legal Action is Sometimes Considered the Most Loving Option
When untreated mental illness or substance use puts lives at risk, inaction can be fatal. Close friends and family often struggle with fear of ruining relationships, but the consequences of delay can be irreversible:
- Suicide
- Overdose
- Homelessness
- Arrest or incarceration
- Deteriorating physical health
By contrast, legal intervention offers:
- Access to structured care
- Protection during crisis
- A chance to reset and stabilize
While the road back to trust may be long, saving your loved one’s life must come first.
How to Move Forward Together
- Engage in family therapy: If your loved one is open to it, work with a well-trained and highly experienced family counselor to process the experience together.
- Celebrate progress: Acknowledge their recovery milestones, and make it clear that you see them as a whole person, not just someone who was sick.
- Set healthy boundaries: Make your expectations clear moving forward, while emphasizing mutual respect and understanding.
- Practice forgiveness for all impacted: It’s okay to grieve the pain the process caused, but holding onto guilt or resentment will only keep you stuck.
Final Thoughts
Involuntary treatment is one of the hardest decisions a family member may ever make. While it can strain or even break relationships in the short term, it can also save lives and open the door to healing. Repairing trust takes time, openness, and patience, but it is possible. If you’ve walked this path, know that you are not alone. You acted out of love, and with support and intention, that love can lead to reconciliation. Please feel free to reach out to us today to explore professional behavioral health intervention strategies that can successfully help your loved one struggling with severe symptoms of mental illness and substance abuse, without having to destroy your relationship with them, or anyone else in the process. Call us today for a complimentary consultation: 305-467-8666
